This week the idea of thinking about writing about the self was probably the most terrifying, and yet, needed distraction. I have had one of those weeks where I feel I am being forced to own my story because of the connections in my life. I have been operating this week with a constant thrush of adrenaline buzzing under my skin. It’s like been stuck in flight or flight mode when you really wish there was an easy button to press to get you back to neutral. I have wanted to hide under the covers, but also know I need to stand in the truth of my life. This is what vulnerability feels like, but it allows us to write a brave new ending if we choose. It’s times where you are trying to be brave that the real people in your life show up and allow you to been seen, heard, and supported. I am truly grateful for this and them.
This is where I should probably say, “I’m sorry, that may have been a little TMI!” However, I’m not going to do that because in this weeks readings there was the idea of our authentic self and on how we write about the self in this digital space. According to Davies and Merchant (2006), “Writing online provides us with the opportunity to “author the self ”(Holland et al. 1998), to sustain a narrative of identity (Giddens 1991), and even to explore a number of different stories of the self, but these identities always are forged through our connection with others” (pg.26). Writing online is in itself a act of vulnerability, it will be seen, read, and commented on. I have wanted to figure out what my narrative would sound like online, but I have never had the courage to place my words into the public’s hands. And here I am today, doing it when I feel pretty raw and open, so I’m going to take the advice of Dr. Brene Brown when it comes to reading comments.
However, it does seem that, “allowing the boundaries between seriousness and play, between home and academ-ic lives to blur is a new way of writing that blogging promotes” (Davies and Merchant, 2006, pg.21). This new way of writing indicates that this form may allow for a more authentic voice to come through, one that combines the elements of live that make up who we are. I was interested in the idea or Expressive Writing and how this form of writing is used. When I used to be a victim advocate writing was a tool for healing. It was often private and not placed in the digital space, but through the act of writing survivors started thriving again. They would often become speakers and advocates themselves. John Evans (2012) suggests, “often, expressive writing is turbulent and unpredictable, and that is Ok. Expressive writing is not so much what happened as it is about how you feel about what happened or is happening.” So my guess is this type of writing is not meant a blog. Step 4 states, “Write only for yourself: You may plan to destroy or hide what you are writing. Do not turn this exercise into a letter. This exercise is for your eyes only” (Evans, 2012). I suppose that this exercise could lead to a honest understanding of how you are feeling, which may get written into a blog at some point. I think there can be a community within the digital space and perhaps I’ll find my way in to one.
I am late to the arena this week, but I made it to the arena! This week that means I’m still learning and engaging with life. Activities that felt a little daunting earlier this week, so I’ll take that win and go with it.